the most controversial thread on SH: standing vs. sitting

sitting or standing?

  • sitter

    Votes: 38 53.5%
  • stander

    Votes: 25 35.2%
  • other?

    Votes: 8 11.3%

  • Total voters
    71

CavScout85

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How the hell do you wipe sitting down? My left hands entire job while taking care of buisness is securing my dick so it cannot under any conditions come in contact with the toilet while seated.... Sounds like there are alot more penis tucker's in the world than I thought
Wait, now I'm confused again. You don't flop it over your thigh?
 

CavScout85

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Aw nevermind... Sounding to gay even to myself. Cav out. 😂

Na chief too easy to lose control and risk contamination that way...😎. Gotta secure your weapon with at least one hand at all times
 
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powdahound76

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Oh heavens.

Funny stuff here.

I will say, sometimes if you wake up to the Mrs naked beside you and think about what your gonna do when she wakes up for about 0.5 seconds, taking that first pee is a tad difficult. 😁
If alone in the bathroom, just pee in the shower with a boner and use the water to wash it down a bit.
If she wakes up easy and may come into the bathroom before you are done, it is acceptable to sit to pee, as they get grumpy about the other......

As for pooping. Sit, poop, wipe.
Didn't know there was so much to hassle about. Or for men to discuss.

Yall weirdos need to chat on some diaper shitter forum or something.
 

abn31c

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Oh heavens.

Funny stuff here.

I will say, sometimes if you wake up to the Mrs naked beside you and think about what your gonna do when she wakes up for about 0.5 seconds, taking that first pee is a tad difficult. 😁
If alone in the bathroom, just pee in the shower with a boner and use the water to wash it down a bit.
If she wakes up easy and may come into the bathroom before you are done, it is acceptable to sit to pee, as they get grumpy about the other......

As for pooping. Sit, poop, wipe.
Didn't know there was so much to hassle about. Or for men to discuss.

Yall weirdos need to chat on some diaper shitter forum or something.
You are wasting the morning wood Powdah, but you already know that soooo.....uhh...ya.
I stand to pee!
 
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Huskydriver

You gotta want it....
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You've never lived in the field for a month and rucked with a nasty ass, have you?

🥺
If you only knew how many tan undershirts I cut off below the chest for tp... Even had to make a command decision a time or two to sacrifice a GI sock when things were drastic....


Or sat loaded in jump gear in a c130 for hours 🥴
Alas I am but a 5 jump chump so I can't relate....
 

abn31c

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If you only knew how many tan undershirts I cut off below the chest for tp... Even had to make a command decision a time or two to sacrifice a GI sock when things were drastic....




Alas I am but a 5 jump chump so I can't relate....
The pungent mixture of puke, piss, shit and Jet A is not an odor. Its a living monster. Thats why the ride empties so fast!😆
 

CavScout85

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If you only knew how many tan undershirts I cut off below the chest for tp... Even had to make a command decision a time or two to sacrifice a GI sock when things were drastic....




Alas I am but a 5 jump chump so I can't relate....
Haha no doubt. Some of the field expedient tp doesn't bear remembering.
 

whiskeytower

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Oct 22, 2011
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Y'all standers are Neanderthals, probably still have flip phones..... Shit, wipe your asshole with a FOLDED ass wipe until clean! Its refreshing and you won't stink. I will not confirm or deny, but if perhaps you tried to wipe standing, you would need to squat so deep your ass cheeks would hit the toilet seat. Which would completely defeat the purpose of standing and wiping with a wadded up dry piece of paper....
 

Cheyenne Bodie

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Reminds me of this John McGuinness interview I watched about his Isle of Man TT crash, he was talking about being on so many opiates that he had to physically dig shit out of himself to pass it. I felt bad for the guy but it made me laugh so goddamn hard that he went into that detail specifically.
 

kabarNC

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Y'all standers are Neanderthals, probably still have flip phones..... Shit, wipe your asshole with a FOLDED ass wipe until clean! Its refreshing and you won't stink. I will not confirm or deny, but if perhaps you tried to wipe standing, you would need to squat so deep your ass cheeks would hit the toilet seat. Which would completely defeat the purpose of standing and wiping with a wadded up dry piece of paper....
20160526_214834.png
 

CavScout85

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I guarantee you that guy right there knows the importance of rectal PMCS and is a sit-wiper. :LOL: Knew a guy once who used alcohol wipes. That was extreme, because I tried it once in the field and you could hear me screaming like I was having butsecks.

Why do I keep coming back to this thread? Maybe it's because I have a 5 year old boy and everything is poop this and fart this and did you smell that?
:ROFLMAO:
 

Cheyenne Bodie

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So you sitters are physically reaching down into the bowl, where there is basically a fucking nebula of shit and swamp ass, to wipe your asshole? What if the water level is too high for that? What if you touch the underside of the seat which probably has at least a month's worth of dried splash shotgunned all over it?

Also, you folders are fucking lunatics. I want an open structure ball with as little laminating of layers as possible. You won't always get to use the dual ply gucci shit from home, gotta be able to adapt to balling up a hulking mass of tissue paper and get to corking.
 

Aries256

Yay the rain went away
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I never thought Id be witnessing people arguing over wiping their ass.
3D72DC53-1FE4-4A94-B02C-10F15CFABC43.gif
 

Maser

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Well congrats Hide members! You finally created a goofy thread that I don't have anything witty to respond with. Anyways in my case I guess technically I'm a stander because I normally always try and shit when it's shower time so I don't need to wipe and instead just hop directly in the shower.
 
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M8541Reaper

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No wonder, Baldwin is a cock sneeze and doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground.

R
Sigh... it’s a joke made by a fictional character to another fictional character. It isn’t a clip from a documentary about farmers and their lack of formalwear after a certain time of day. Although, if AB was the lead in that documentary, I’d pay to see it.
 

Ravenworks

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What happens if you have a handicap?
You know,like a torn rotator cuff, or need your shoulder replaced.

Okay here's a serious question, how many like to test the tensile strength of toliet paper?
You know, like you keep wiping after you hit a dry spot and you fucking know that if you keep going you stand about a 99% chance of blowing a hole in the paper?
Yeah I thought so.
It doesn't matter if you sit or stand, but what does matter is that you WASH YOUR DICK SKINNER after you stick your finger in shit.
 
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Aries256

Yay the rain went away
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What’s weirder that someone taking a joke seriously are the posters confused about how to wipe. I guess it all makes sense now as to why the men’s bathrooms are fuckin disgusting war zones.
As someone who did night custodial work when I was younger, I can certify that women’s restrooms make men’s restrooms look pristine in comparison. I swear they must squat over the seat, used, dirty tampons all over the floor, or stuck to the wall, yes bloody fucking tampons flung all over including the damn wall, hair fucking everywhere, and dont get me started on women’s locker-rooms. I swear not a single one knew how to flush 🙄 You walk in and youre like
189B801A-F4DB-4E25-8CE7-F59C62AB75D6.jpeg
 

Foul Mike

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Interesting topic. When I did the tacticrap 50 years ago, I didn't think about running front to back, may have been side to side, whatever got er done, using John Wayne C-Ration asswipe. I only did it a couple of times and was more concerned about giving away my position than how the shit smeared, and usually there was a bomb crater nearby to finish the job off but the orange malaria pill that our Doc made us take on Monday did in fact put us in"shit" a time or two as we laid dog on a slash.

The Powahound makes mention and alludes to "Morning Wood" and sage advice from me is,"Never waste a hardon." Use them all.

This brings me to Torque.

What is Torque?

Torque is when you get up with a good piss morning hardon and go to the toilet and when you push it down to hit the bowl of the toilet, your feet go out from underneath you and your forehead smacks the edge of the toilet. FM
 

Rthur

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Interesting topic. When I did the tacticrap 50 years ago, I didn't think about running front to back, may have been side to side, whatever got er done, using John Wayne C-Ration asswipe. I only did it a couple of times and was more concerned about giving away my position than how the shit smeared, and usually there was a bomb crater nearby to finish the job off but the orange malaria pill that our Doc made us take on Monday did in fact put us in"shit" a time or two as we laid dog on a slash.

The Powahound makes mention and alludes to "Morning Wood" and sage advice from me is,"Never waste a hardon." Use them all.

This brings me to Torque.

What is Torque?

Torque is when you get up with a good piss morning hardon and go to the toilet and when you push it down to hit the bowl of the toilet, your feet go out from underneath you and your forehead smacks the edge of the toilet. FM
With length comes leverage...

R
 

Ravenworks

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And then you have freaks like this.

"Investigators found that Deas used social media advertisements to falsely claim that he was seeking home health care for his 18-year-old brother, “Cory,” whom he described as “mentally and physically handicapped.”

Police said that as soon as he made an arrangement with a health care worker, he would then pose as “Cory” while “allowing the care provider to change his adult diaper and obtain sexual arousal under the false pretenses of being handicapped.”

After 10 separate incidents involving the same unidentified health care worker, officials said the victim became suspicious and soon discovered that Deas had made up “Cory.”

 
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trippjn

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Reminds me of a funny story about my two oldest boys when they were younger. At the time my three year old was with me one afternoon while we were working on some fence. All is well and I hear him say "Daddy......I gotta go poop." Well i wasn't about to leave and go find a restroom so we made due with mother nature. To make it interesting to him i explained we were learning to poop like a cowboy. All went well and i didn't think anymore about. A few days later him and his older brother (5 years old) were playing at the creek. I guess he decided to show his oldest brother how to poop like a cowboy. It was all innocent and fun to them. Glad they didn't accidentally find poison ivy. They squatted. No standing or sitting.
 
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