Socially UNacceptable Humor

CONUS_Reaper

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Oct 3, 2018
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Alaska
A bus load of Catholic school girls was involved in a horrible crash, everyone on the bus died.

When the girls arrived at the Pearly Gates they noticed a bowl at the front of the line. St. Peter said, "if you have ever touched a penis with any part of your body, rinse that body part in the water and continue on into Heaven".

The first girl approached, dipped the tip of her finger in the water and continued on.

The second girl approached, placed her entire hand in the water and continued on.

All of a sudden St. Peter noticed a commotion at the back of the line.

A frantic young girl came running to the front of the line. St. Peter said, "what seems to be the problem Jennifer?"

Jennifer said, "St. Peter! St. Peter! If Tiffany is going to put her asshole in the water, I want to rinse my mouth out first!"


Ba Dum Cha
 

hermosabeach

Confused Coffee Drinker
Feb 13, 2012
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A fire fighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little boy next door in a little red wagon with a tiny ladders hung off the side and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.

The boy is wearing a fire fighter's helmet and has the wagon tied to a dog and a cat. The fire fighter walks over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire truck" the fire fighter says with admiration. "Thanks" says the little boy.

As the fire fighter looks a little closer, he notices the boy has tied the wagon to the dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.

"Little partner" the fire fighter says "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster".

The little boy says "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren".
 
Dec 20, 2017
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Chad Kelly's head looks distorted. Is it from drinking with Von Miller or from being beat upside the head with a vacuum tube?

View attachment 6960087

http://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/25062867/broncos-backup-qb-chad-kelly-arrested-trespassing-case

Somethin' done gone way wrong with the Broncos...
They released him early yesterday. He attended court only to have it moved to early November. Apparently he's done things like this before. I had high hopes for him as I'm also a Bill's fan and would have like to see the Kelly name continue to excel in the NFL.
 
Likes: 1J04

hermosabeach

Confused Coffee Drinker
Feb 13, 2012
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After performing an ultrasound scan, the doctor tells the expectant mother "I have some good news, and I have some bad news".

The expantant mother asks for the good news first-


"The good news is that your child will never have a problem finding a parking space".
 

hermosabeach

Confused Coffee Drinker
Feb 13, 2012
5,488
12,182
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A catholic girl goes into confession, and tells the priest "Father, I am pregnant".


"How did this happen my child?" He asks her.m

"Father, I think it's the second coming". she says.

Rather taken aback by her explanation, he asks her "Now why would you think it's the second coming?"


To which she answers "Because I swallowed the first one".