Great stuffRe: Socially UNacceptable Humor
Two lesbians apply at an Adoption Agency.
The counselor says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve minors to lickers."
How did Michael Jackson get food poisoning?
He ate a 3-year-old wiener.
A guy walks in to a bar, and says "G-g-gimme a b-b-beer."
The bartender says, "Seems you've got a stuttering problem."
The guy says, "N-n-no sh-sh-shit."
The bartender says, "I used to stutter, but my wife cured me. One afternoon she sucked me off three times in a row, and I haven't stuttered since."
The guy says, "W-w-wow, th-th-that's great to kn-kn-know..."
A week later, the same guy walks in to the bar, and says, "G-g-gimme a b-b-beer."
The bartender says, "Why didn't you try what I told you?"
The guy says, "I d-d-did. It d-d-didn't w-w-wrork. B-b-but I m-m-must say, you have a r-r-really nice apartment."
Charlie's an embalmer, and one day he says to his boss, "There's a problem with Mrs. Whittaker."
The boss says, "What's that?"
Charlie says, "I was getting her cleaned up when I noticed a jumbo shrimp sticking out of her pussy."
The boss says, "That's impossible. Show me."
They go to the table where she's lying, Charlie flips back the sheet, points, and says, " See? There's a jumbo shrimp sticking out of her pussy."
The boss takes a closer look and says, "You jerk, that's not a piece of shrimp. That's her clit."
Charlie says, "Her clit? Well, it sure tasted like shrimp."
A lady goes to see her doctor and says, "Doc, my back really hurts when I have sex."
The doctor says, "Which position do you use?"
The lady says, "We always do it doggie style."
The doctor says, That's your problem. Try using the missionary position."
She says, "I can't do that. My dog has terrible breath."
One gay guy is trying to convince the other gay guy that he's pregnant.
The second guy says, "Well, if you are pregnant, who's the father?"
The first guy says, "How should I know? Do I have eyes in the back of my head?"
How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
One of his fingers is clean.
Why do doctors spank babies when they're born?
To knock the dicks off the stupid ones.
A Polish guy's in bed with a girl...
He says, "You're flat and you're tight."
She says, "Get off my back."
Did you hear about the Polish guy whose wife had triplets?
He went looking for the other two guys.