So when do you start looking?

Sean the Nailer

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May 20, 2006
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I bought a 'cell phone', and gave it to My Lady. Simply because she wanted one, and felt it was 'safer' for her to have one. I kinda get that, for when she's driving by herself. Myself, I can't stand the damn things, and refuse to be like so many others, led through life by their thumbs.

I used to have friends come over to visit, and in the middle of our conversations (face to face) they'd be whipping out their phones from their 'holsters' and checking what someone else said, and replying to THAT conversation.

I draw/drew the line there. There's a shelf by the door for people to leave their phone when they enter. Pick it up as you leave. NOT that hard of a concept to grasp, is it?

As to 'her' cell phone, I don't care because I trust her implicitly and have no reason to suspect otherwise. Add to that, on the (extremely) rare occasion when she's out with a friend or friends, I only ask her to wake me up when she gets home, to let me know she's home. I only ask 'where there any problems?' and 'would you do it again'? The answer is always "No and Yes"....

I trust her with my life and effort, and she trusts me with her life and effort. Teamwork is a mutual agreement and a lifelong commitment.

Anything else is just situational. Establish what marriage means to a person, before committing to that person in marriage.
 
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diverdon

Constitutionalist, by choice
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Dec 21, 2011
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When are enough warning signs to warrant looking through her phone.
Any kids with her?

To be honest with you ( I hope I am reading your question wrong ) but the way I'm reading it is that you are considering surreptitiously inspecting her phone. Unless you suspect her of being involved with terrorists, I'm having trouble envisioning what you might find that would be a graver offense on her part than the offense you are considering.

If you have minor kids with her then communicate with her and attempt to solve problems.

No Kids, follow your gut, just don't end up the dirtbag sifting through spousal phones and emails.... I used to work with a guy who came to work one day and told us that he had discovered his wife was cheating when he pulled her panties out of the dirty laundry and sniffed cum stains on them. Do you want to be that guy?
 

diverdon

Constitutionalist, by choice
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Dec 21, 2011
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I bought a 'cell phone', and gave it to My Lady. Simply because she wanted one, and felt it was 'safer' for her to have one. I kinda get that, for when she's driving by herself. Myself, I can't stand the damn things, and refuse to be like so many others, led through life by their thumbs.

I used to have friends come over to visit, and in the middle of our conversations (face to face) they'd be whipping out their phones from their 'holsters' and checking what someone else said, and replying to THAT conversation.

I draw/drew the line there. There's a shelf by the door for when they enter. Pick it up as you leave. NOT that hard of a concept to grasp, is it?

As to 'her' cell phone, I don't care because I trust her implicitly and have no reason to suspect otherwise. Add to that, on the (extremely) rare occasion when she's out with a friend or friends, I only ask her to wake me up when she gets home, to let me know she's home. I only ask 'where there any problems?' and 'would you do it again'? The answer is always "No and Yes"....

I trust her with my life and effort, and she trusts me with her life and effort. Teamwork is a mutual agreement and a lifelong commitment.

Anything else is just situational. Establish what marriage means to a person, before committing to that person in marriage.
My best friend has a metal box outside his door for every one to deposit their cell phone before they come into his house. The box has an outlet so they can charge if needed.
 

TheGerman

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Jan 25, 2010
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My best friend has a metal box outside his door for every one to deposit their cell phone before they come into his house. The box has an outlet so they can charge if needed.
I seriously considering this. I fucking hate people enough at it is; nothing is more annoying than them on their fucking phone while at my house. If you're here, you're here for a fucking reason, and its not to look at your fucking phone.

I also don't respond to any kind of business being conducted via text; just flat out stopped replying to it. Texting is for kids and women gossping about bullshit. You want to talk about setting up a meeting, a scope of a project, pricing or anything else thats pertinent, you fucking call me or we meet in person.
 

W54/XM-388

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Asynchronous communication can have a lot of uses when spanning different parties with different schedules, time zones or when one party can't talk at the moment.

But for setting up a project, pricing etc., I find proper e-mails much better than trying to do everything in a call. Much less room for errors or misunderstanding.

Group texts as well as group e-mails can be a great way for small groups to stay in touch (with just every day stuff) when it would be impossible to get even part of them on the phone at the same time due to schedules / time zones / work etc.

Then when you get your multi tasking done even better, you can be talking on the phone with someone while replying to e-mails and keeping up with a texting session. Hook your cell phone up to a keyboard and a second keyboard for your computer & another phone to talk on, and you'll be amazed how much you can get done at once.
 
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10000yards

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May 9, 2019
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Been reading through this thread and it has been extremely interesting, nice to see a lot of us here are not scared to be open and talk about this, so many of us have been there. The Lies of a woman can drive a man completely crazy. A woman can swear, cry and have a full emotional breakdown and still be lying. i have been through one divorce and it was because i checked her phone, it had finger print security... She had to much to drink out day and fell deep into sleep. i could unlock her security and check her conversations with her female friend...(Yes, Conversation with her female friends is where the juicy stuffs is)... and i found all sorts of Dick sucking chat with another dude. and that was it. She didn't take much from me. She is broke and has broken up with the guy she was seeing. its very funny how women would have the world and destroy it all. i used to take her on trips and i protected her.

If your guts tell you to check her phone then go for it, if nothing is found then you will trust and love her more.
 

Doc68

Almost a doctor
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Feb 17, 2014
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CO, Fort Carson
So, My Lady was asking last night about the outcome of this. What happened, in the end?
Well I didn't find anything in her phone, yes I looked. I still think stuff is going on with her however. She recently had lost 102lbs. Went from 244 to 142. Now she wants a breast job. I understand she has a new body, however it doesn't explain the lack of interest in the bedroom or spending hours with her friends that she never used to.
 

Snipe260

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Feb 11, 2017
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Well I didn't find anything in her phone, yes I looked. I still think stuff is going on with her however. She recently had lost 102lbs. Went from 244 to 142. Now she wants a breast job. I understand she has a new body, however it doesn't explain the lack of interest in the bedroom or spending hours with her friends that she never used to.
Damn doc, sorry man!
 

Sean the Nailer

Sergeant
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May 20, 2006
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Winnipeg, Mb.
Well I didn't find anything in her phone, yes I looked. I still think stuff is going on with her however. She recently had lost 102lbs. Went from 244 to 142. Now she wants a breast job. I understand she has a new body, however it doesn't explain the lack of interest in the bedroom or spending hours with her friends that she never used to.
PM sent.
 

10000yards

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@Doc68i will keep you in my prayers too. i have been there. almost drove me crazy. If she has cheated on you in the past... this could also lead to you not trusting her. Like i said... text with her is where the juicy stuffs always is. Try to live a little too. hang out with friends, be fun and live everyday.
 

smoooth1

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Mar 4, 2017
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Well I didn't find anything in her phone, yes I looked. I still think stuff is going on with her however. She recently had lost 102lbs. Went from 244 to 142. Now she wants a breast job. I understand she has a new body, however it doesn't explain the lack of interest in the bedroom or spending hours with her friends that she never used to.
If she had “the surgery “ to help with weight loss, at the pre-op psychiatric exams they TELL you that the vast majority of marriages will end within 2-3 years of the weight loss. Obviously this is due to the “new bod” and all the fresh, new attention that goes with it.

The lack of interest can be many things, talk to her about getting an Estra ring.

If she is cheating, and has been a big girl most of her life, odds are very good that in 4 years she will be bigger than before, 🤣 So you have that going for you 🤞🏻

Good luck man!
 

BullGear

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Well I didn't find anything in her phone, yes I looked. I still think stuff is going on with her however. She recently had lost 102lbs. Went from 244 to 142. Now she wants a breast job. I understand she has a new body, however it doesn't explain the lack of interest in the bedroom or spending hours with her friends that she never used to.

Sounds to me like she's shopping for some loving. I can see any woman who's lost that kind of weight looking for what attention she can get. I would recommend a vacation for the 2 of you. Somewhere romantic and you need to turn up the charm. I think it would be easy, seeing that you have a new wife (weight loss and all). Maybe you've fallen into a rut, being married to her for so many years. Maybe she's just wanting a little romance back in her life. I think maybe you need to show her you still love her and comment on how good she looks with the weight loss. Women are a fickle breed, maybe she's just confused. Maybe she's had a few men take notice of her for the first time in a LONG time. If you want to keep her, you're going to get those feelings back and charm her like she was 19 again. At least that's what I'd do.
 

Maxwell

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Every time I run across one of these threads I think of what happened long ago & far away. The nightmare scabs over but never really heals.

We were to fly home to Cleveland for Christmas to Carol’s parents home. Came home on December 23rd to a house that was totally dark. Strange as were to pack up. Tried to turn on the lights, nothing. Found my way to the kitchen where there was some light and found a note on the frig, said I love Doug more than you, Carol. That was it. The house was totally stripped, cleaned out the bank accounts, no dishes, pots, pans, took all the food, everything!

I had an inklings but you trust your wife completely.

If you think something is wrong it probably is. Act on it now, not later.

This happened back in ‘82. Never heard from her again.

Maxwell
 

Bigfatcock

Sergeant of the Hide
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Jan 12, 2019
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If you can’t/don’t trust her, then divorce her. Once you broach the subject there is no going back. If she is cheating and now knows you are thinking, she’ll probably get the jump on you.

If she’s not cheating, then now she’ll be hurt by you thinking she is.

Something else to consider is that maybe she’s just not sexually attracted to you anymore.