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1J04

Morale Officer
Aug 7, 2011
8,736
3,038
113
PACIFIC NW
Couldn't stop laughing at this one. That Cat got HAF !!! Catnip indeed. :ROFLMAO:



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Likes: timesublime

Mike 556

Sergeant of the Hide
Jan 31, 2018
427
622
93
Northeast PA
A young woman brought her fiancé home to meet her parents. After dinner, her
mother told the girl's father to find out about the young man.
The father invited the fiancé to his study for a talk.
"So, what are your plans?" the father asked the young man.
"I am a biblical scholar," he replied
"A biblical scholar, hmmm?" the father said. "Admirable, but what will you
do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in?"
"I will study," the young man replied, "and God will provide for us."
"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she
deserves?" asked the father.
"I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replied, "God will provide
for us."
"And children?" asked the father. "How will you support children?"
"Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replied the fiancé.
The conversation proceeded like this...and each time the father questioned,
the young idealist insisted that God would provide.
Later, the mother asked, "How did your talk go, honey?"
The father answered, "another Democrat, He has no job, he has no plans, and he thinks I'm
God."
 

Tucker301

Groundskeeper
Staff member
Feb 13, 2015
6,506
1,594
113
Southern VA
An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution for his death row client.

His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.

As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been? Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it'. And on and on and on.

Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs.

While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight.

Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go up stairs and give him the good news.

As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet and said "They're not hanging Wright tonight!"

He whirled around and screamed, 'FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER STOP?'
 
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