My Fbook post today:

TresMon

Gunny Sergeant
Dec 3, 2007
1,164
30
48
NW USA
#1
10 keys to a great relationship:

1. Start every conversation with the phrase: "Look woman....."
Women like manly men.

2. Make every single decision.
Your decisions, her decisions, joint decisions, and as many of her friends decisions as opportunity allows. Women like men who can lead.

4. Never ever ever be wrong. If she ever comes to the conclusion that your capable of making a mistake, she'll not trust you enough to follow your lead and there went point #2 up in smoke.

4. Insist that she does everything for you. And I mean everything. This is a biggie.
Every woman has a beautiful God given motherly instinct to some degree. Encourage this and she'll love you more than you can know. Denial and oppression of this makes you a class A jerk. And jerks don't deserve a good woman.

5. You need to love her for real. In every way. Men's love seems to be shallow these days. Tradgedy. You need to love her and pay attention to every aspect of her life. Like health for instance. If she picks up a few pounds, if you love her you'll tell her about it every day.
And when it comes to birthdays and anniversaries: get her age spot creams, wrinkle facials and weight watchers books. Get a clue mister! Feeling beautiful is important to women! Enable her to attain beauty!

6. Never ever show emotion of any kind. And for sure don't talk about it! Think "granite." The world, life is like a black scarey stormy ocean to a woman. But if she knows she's anchored to granite, she'll be confident that her anchor will hold fast through every storm of life. And she'll adore you for it.

7. If she comes upon the opportunity to make more money than you, squelch that bologna fast! See points # 1, 2 and 3 already. Duh! Do you want her to be attracted to you or not bonehead?!

8. Leave your dirty socks and underwear laying around everywhere for her to pick up. Everywhere! Science is learning more about the effect of human pheromones and the pheromone receptors in the human nose as it relates to sexual attraction. As she's collecting your socks and underwear throughout the house she'll stay immersed in your pheromones. And that will keep her all tingly for you!
Be ready to be pounced upon when you get home from work you sly dog you!
But remember God says no boinging outside of marriage.

9. Always be a gentleman!
Open doors for her. Especially car doors. Save her the embarrament of having to admit the latch and lock system of car doors can be extremely complex.
And generally speaking it takes serious strength to open doors leading into restaurants and what have you. This is why grocery stores now have automatic doors there Mr. Dummy. Also pull out her chair for her as she'll never be able to figure out where to sit. Take her coat because she'll forget to take it off and in the warm of the restaurant combined with her still wearing her coat she'll become odorous in short order. See point 5, she needs to feel beautiful.

12. Make rude and lude comments about her mother at least a couple times weekly. This is the ONLY EVER recipe that has been the reason couples have grown old and grey together. You see the sooner that you can brainwash her into believing that her childhood home wasn't the healthy, safe, blissful place she originally thought it was, the sooner she'll understand that if her world comes to end or you sir turn out to be the worst mate in the whole world, her only choice is to remain with you sir, no matter what. And THIS is the sweet magic that will keep your tender beloved by your side all the rest of your days.

Well, I'm typically not one to brag or gloat, but at the same time with the American divorce rate ever increasing how could I not keep such profound wisdom and sage advice to myself? Please know I desire no accolade but rather humbly desire to quietly better American relationships as a whole.

But I will say this boldly: thought for some peculiar reason I've not been able to talk a gal into going out with me in over 21 years, when I do finally meet the one that appreciates me for me (a glimpse you got in the above) we'll be the envy of the world. Yes I said it *the world.*

Humbly,
Tresmon

(Please no photos, live interviews on national news, and I'm not interested in a book deal in the least.)
 

1J04

Morale Officer
Aug 7, 2011
9,818
6,012
113
PACIFIC NW
#2
10 keys to a great relationship:

1. Start every conversation with the phrase: "Look woman....."
Women like manly men.

2. Make every single decision.
Your decisions, her decisions, joint decisions, and as many of her friends decisions as opportunity allows. Women like men who can lead.

4. Never ever ever be wrong. If she ever comes to the conclusion that your capable of making a mistake, she'll not trust you enough to follow your lead and there went point #2 up in smoke.

4. Insist that she does everything for you. And I mean everything. This is a biggie.
Every woman has a beautiful God given motherly instinct to some degree. Encourage this and she'll love you more than you can know. Denial and oppression of this makes you a class A jerk. And jerks don't deserve a good woman.

5. You need to love her for real. In every way. Men's love seems to be shallow these days. Tradgedy. You need to love her and pay attention to every aspect of her life. Like health for instance. If she picks up a few pounds, if you love her you'll tell her about it every day.
And when it comes to birthdays and anniversaries: get her age spot creams, wrinkle facials and weight watchers books. Get a clue mister! Feeling beautiful is important to women! Enable her to attain beauty!

6. Never ever show emotion of any kind. And for sure don't talk about it! Think "granite." The world, life is like a black scarey stormy ocean to a woman. But if she knows she's anchored to granite, she'll be confident that her anchor will hold fast through every storm of life. And she'll adore you for it.

7. If she comes upon the opportunity to make more money than you, squelch that bologna fast! See points # 1, 2 and 3 already. Duh! Do you want her to be attracted to you or not bonehead?!

8. Leave your dirty socks and underwear laying around everywhere for her to pick up. Everywhere! Science is learning more about the effect of human pheromones and the pheromone receptors in the human nose as it relates to sexual attraction. As she's collecting your socks and underwear throughout the house she'll stay immersed in your pheromones. And that will keep her all tingly for you!
Be ready to be pounced upon when you get home from work you sly dog you!
But remember God says no boinging outside of marriage.

9. Always be a gentleman!
Open doors for her. Especially car doors. Save her the embarrament of having to admit the latch and lock system of car doors can be extremely complex.
And generally speaking it takes serious strength to open doors leading into restaurants and what have you. This is why grocery stores now have automatic doors there Mr. Dummy. Also pull out her chair for her as she'll never be able to figure out where to sit. Take her coat because she'll forget to take it off and in the warm of the restaurant combined with her still wearing her coat she'll become odorous in short order. See point 5, she needs to feel beautiful.

12. Make rude and lude comments about her mother at least a couple times weekly. This is the ONLY EVER recipe that has been the reason couples have grown old and grey together. You see the sooner that you can brainwash her into believing that her childhood home wasn't the healthy, safe, blissful place she originally thought it was, the sooner she'll understand that if her world comes to end or you sir turn out to be the worst mate in the whole world, her only choice is to remain with you sir, no matter what. And THIS is the sweet magic that will keep your tender beloved by your side all the rest of your days.

Well, I'm typically not one to brag or gloat, but at the same time with the American divorce rate ever increasing how could I not keep such profound wisdom and sage advice to myself? Please know I desire no accolade but rather humbly desire to quietly better American relationships as a whole.

But I will say this boldly: thought for some peculiar reason I've not been able to talk a gal into going out with me in over 21 years, when I do finally meet the one that appreciates me for me (a glimpse you got in the above) we'll be the envy of the world. Yes I said it *the world.*

Humbly,
Tresmon

(Please no photos, live interviews on national news, and I'm not interested in a book deal in the least.)

Most excellent Brother !!!! Your random drive-by's are ALWAYS entertaining. Funny as hell. Hope you're doing well @TresMon !!!!
 
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