Immutable Laws--Add Yours

fx77

Sergeant
Belligerents
Nov 29, 2005
1,183
309
189
ny state
1.Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with
grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2.Law of Gravity
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.

3.Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4.Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.

5.Variation Law
If you change queues (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.


6.Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

7.Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

8.Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!

9.Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

10.Law of the Theatres & Sports Arenas- At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last.. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

11.The Coffee Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

12.Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.


13.Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

14.Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.


16.Law of Public Speaking
-- A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!

17.Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy-
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!

18.Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
 

Anb618

Private
Hessian
Belligerents
Dec 18, 2017
237
207
49
North Central Illinois
If you mention (typically out loud, but sometimes it just takes the fleeting idiotic internal realization) that your work shift has thus far been “quiet,” or “uneventful,”

It soon won’t be.
 
Last edited:

Mwalex

Private
Belligerents
Jun 8, 2011
2,271
4,697
219
53
Before committing to having children baby sit for your friends. If you are drinking within 20 minutes rethink your decision.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Cheyenne Bodie

Waorani

Comfortably Numb
Online Training Access
Belligerents
Feb 14, 2017
1,640
1,994
119
Auburn, AL
- Rustoleum takes 48 hours to dry on whatever you're painting but 48 nanoseconds to dry on your hands

- the time it takes to walk to your shop is inversely proportional to the time it takes to forget what you going for
 

LeftyJason

Thumbnail-les
Belligerents
Mar 8, 2017
728
921
99
33
Kaysville Utah
If ya gotta go ya gotta go. If you don't go when ya gotta go, when you do go, you'll found you already went. - passed down by my dad from my great grandpa.
 

FS1

Unbalanced
Belligerents
Mar 24, 2014
4,514
6,878
219
Earth
The time it takes to complete a job shall increase, as the time available to complete that job decreases.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1moaoff

remmynikon.308

Sergeant of the Hide
Belligerents
Minuteman
Feb 1, 2019
148
311
69
LAW OF BOWHUNTING
no matter how many times you try, no matter what you have or have not eaten... you will have to poop as soon as you get to your treestand.
 
  • Like
Reactions: fx77 and Anb618

rth1800

Member
Belligerents
Sep 16, 2009
6,162
1,971
219
Funny, I just did two sets of 3rd molars in the last 10 minutes and then saw that post. There is some truth to it. But on that root canaled molar it was darn likely no matter the disposition of the patient.
 

FS1

Unbalanced
Belligerents
Mar 24, 2014
4,514
6,878
219
Earth
If you take her home at closing time, get her out before sunrise.

Men are the kindest gentlest, and most loving creatures on earth, then they cum. :)